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  • Writer's pictureMia Denean

Anxiety F******* Sucks

Updated: Dec 16, 2022

Anxiety f******* sucks. Anxiety can make you feel like your day is ruined, put a wedge in your relationships, and make you feel like you are not capable of doing something and that you are alone. Anxiety will make you want to retreat into your comfort space and shut yourself out from the rest of the world. If you are someone that experiences anxiety or know of someone that experiences this just know that you are capable of taking your control back by practicing simple techniques for coping with anxiety every day. Here are some helpful tips for tackling anxiety.

Acknowledging Your Anxiety

You have been through it. You are going through it. You have felt the anxiety in your bones and struggled to get out of bed. You've seen the light at the end of the tunnel, but you feel like it's too far away.

You know what it feels like when someone says something that triggers your anxiety, or you feel like every little thing that goes wrong is a sign of impending doom. You know how hard it can be to just get through a day without feeling overwhelmed by all that's happening around you or within yourself (or both).

I'm not here to tell you how bad your anxiety is or how much worse others have it—because anxiety does not look the same for each individual who experiences and yours will likely be different from mine as well. But I do want to let people who suffer from this condition know they aren't alone—and that there are lots of ways we can take control over our mental health!

We all know what it's like to be anxious, but we don't talk about it enough. So I want you to think about the last time you felt anxious, whether that was a few days ago or even just now reading this article. One of the most important things that you can do for yourself is to acknowledge how you are feeling and where the root of these feelings stem from so that you can learn ways to gain control back over your body and mind.

Anxiety Only Has The Power That We Give To It

One way that I would characterize Anxiety is your mind and body being out of sync almost at a war with one another. Your mind may be trying to stay positive and affirm that everything is okay but the body is in a war within itself which can make it hard to mentally stay positive when our physical body is doing the opposite which then affects our emotional health. Anxiety can make you feel as if you're losing control, as if no one understands and that it's just you against the world. It will make you think that you are physically sick and assume the worst. This is because anxiety causes us to focus on things that aren't happening—it makes us hyper-aware of what could go wrong, even when there may be nothing going on at all!

Anxiety can feel like a cloud hanging over you, no matter what time of day or night. It may be a problem with your job, or it could be an issue at home. You might not even realize that anxiety is affecting you until you feel like it's too late and you're stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings that make things worse instead of better but I am here to assure you that it is never too late.

It's okay to feel afraid sometimes; it's part of being human. But what we need to keep in mind is that Anxiety is only as powerful as we allow it to be. So how do we take the power away from anxiety? Well keep reading and I'll tell you.

Affecting Your Relationships

If you have anxiety, you know how hard it is to open up and trust people. You may also find it difficult to be vulnerable with others. This can limit your ability to connect with others on a meaningful level, and even make it difficult for you to feel like yourself in relationships.

Anxiety can also cause us to doubt ourselves, which leads us into a vicious cycle of further isolation from others when we start believing our negative thoughts about ourselves as truth instead of fact. If we allow ourselves to believe that we are unworthy of having meaningful relationships or being in social situations then we become too dependent on ourselves which will then in turn, in turn, heighten our anxiety and stress levels which is what we want to avoid.

Learn how to talk about it

Become present at the moment

Find comfort In vulnerability

Create boundaries between what you want to share with your partner and loved ones vs what you would want to share with a licensed professional

Find ways to build your confidence

The Physical Effect

It can be easy to forget how important it is to take care of yourself when you find yourself amid anxiety. The fear and worry can seem like all-consuming monsters that are making your life hell, but what they're doing is trying to tell you something important: "You're not feeling good enough."

Anxiety isn't always easy to understand, but we must make an effort because if we allow it to go unchecked or unacknowledged for too long it can take a toll on our physical health so what you may be feeling just on the inside at first will begin to appear on our outer appearance as well. Anxiety is linked to conditions such as heart palpitations, headaches, fatigue, and stomach problems that can cause inflammation in the body. Chronic anxiety can higher your risk of depression and panic attacks. When our minds are at dis-ease it will cause disease to manifest in the body and that is something we want to prevent from happening by acknowledging what we are going through, taking care of our health to the best of our abilities, and seeking support.

Mind Tricks

It's hard to explain your anxiety to people because it's not something that can be seen or measured in a mirror; it's this invisible force that rips through your day and makes everything feel like more of a struggle than it should be.

During these times you may ask yourself, Why do things seem to come easy for everyone else but not me—or maybe I just need more confidence? Am I too sensitive? Are my expectations too high? Maybe if I could just relax everything would be better? Am I doing the right thing? These questions plague us every day as our mind races with thoughts about failing at life, relationships, friendships, and work. Unfortunately, these are the mind tricks that Anxiety will play on us to retract into a state of fear that will make us question every daily decision that we make as a way for us to diminish any sense of confidence and faith that we may have. One tip that I have if you are experiencing thoughts like these is to ask yourself, Is everything that is happening to me based on fact or emotions?

You Are Not Alone

You may think that no one understands what you're going through, but in reality, most people probably understand what you're experiencing. Anxiety is a common problem that a lot of people face at one point or another. Studies have shown that more than 250 million people across the world have experienced Anxiety. The good news is that not only will others be supportive when you talk about it, but they'll probably also have some advice for coping with anxiety and stress as well.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help from a family member, or friend, or if you choose a licensed professional such as a therapist or doctor. If you are in a circumstance where those are not options there are online community forums where individuals will speak openly about their own experiences and how they have learned to take their control back.

You Are Not Your Anxiety

Anxiety is like the negative friend who's always showing up in the group chat and ruining the fun with some bulls***. You can't be entirely sure if it's actually there, or if it's just a figment of your imagination, but either way: no one likes this person! It sucks up all of your attention and energy so that you can't enjoy anything else in life. And yes, sometimes they show up—but they do not have to live there forever.

Your feelings are valid; they matter and deserve respect (which is something many people with mental illnesses struggle with). But remember that even though a feeling may feel like something bigger than yourself—like somehow defining you as an individual—it isn't everything about who you are at any given moment in time (or even over years). Your anxiety isn't even necessarily the most important thing in your life right now; just because something makes us feel anxious doesn't mean that we should allow it to take over our lives completely!

Anxiety is not who you are. It's a feeling, and it too shall pass. You are not your anxiety, so don't beat yourself up over it, instead, try affirming that you are not your anxiety.

So, what can you do? Well, first off: stop beating yourself up over your anxiety! Anxiety isn't a character flaw or a weakness; it's simply an emotional reaction to something scary or uncertain in our lives. And when we feel anxious about something (like an upcoming speech, entering a social space, taking on something new), our reactions aren't necessarily rational—they're just reactions that we've learned over time to do in response to certain situations.

When we understand this about ourselves and others who may experience some form of anxiety disorder or social phobia—that their feelings aren't intentional choices but rather things they have no control over—we can begin treating each other with compassion and respect instead of judgmental criticism toward those who have these conditions at times when they need support most urgently from those around them!

What To Do When You Are Feeling Anxious

When you're feeling anxious, try doing some exercises that'll help you relax.

  • Get up and move around. Go for a walk, take the stairs instead of the elevator, or do some stretches or a five-minute exercise. Any form of movement will help your body feel more relaxed and focused.

  • Surround yourself with nature. If you can visit a park, take a walk outside, visit a beach or a walking trail studies have proven that this will help to reduce levels of stress and anxiety, enhance immune system functions and increase self-esteem.

  • Focus on what is in front of you at that moment. For example, if you are doing something and find your mind racing with thoughts, stop, breathe and acknowledge the things that you can see, hear, touch and smell around you.

  • Play your favorite music with headphones to calm your mind from whatever you are thinking and feeling at that moment. It may also be a good idea to listen to music that puts you in a better mood than you were in before trying to stay away from anything that will not enhance your mood.

How To Keep It In Check

Don't let your anxiety control you. Don't let it take over your life. Don't let it get the best of you. The more you try to fight against your anxiety, the more power it will have over you and your life. Instead, try to understand where it's coming from and why it's there, so that way when something happens (or doesn’t happen) that triggers those feelings in you, they won't be as strong or effective because they'll already be less powerful than they could've been had they not been understood by their source at all. In other words: don't run away from things; face them head-on!

Managing Your Anxiety

  • Take deep breaths. When you feel yourself getting anxious, stop, close your eyes and take a few long, deep breaths. I recommend taking 10 deep breaths to re-focus your mind and body. This will help to calm your nervous system down and reduce the effects of anxiety on your body and reduce muscle tension.

  • Write down your thoughts. If you have a lot of worries going through your mind, try writing them down in a journal in an organized list so that you can see what is causing the stress in your life. Once you do this, try to come up with ways that you can eliminate these feelings or how you can work on shifting away from what is causing your anxiety.

  • Disconnect from your social devices to allow yourself that time with you. We tend to overconsume on these platforms which can also be a trigger for anxiety and we all know the internet will have you finding the worse in any situation by constantly googling everything that happens to us.

  • Look at areas of your health and see if you can improve your diet or the amount of physical activity that you receive. Eating more whole foods during times of anxiety and stress can be very beneficial for your health as food is medicine. Foods that are high in refined sugars and fats will do you a disservice in the long run due to the lack of nutrients provided that your body will need most during these times. I'm not saying to go raw vegan and completely change your way of life but adding small things or alternatives into your diet daily will make a difference. If you can get yourself to exercise has been one technique that has also helped to revitalize health and one's mental state. This does not require you to pay for a monthly membership at your local gym or fitness center. Using your home and surroundings as space will do just fine. Youtube allows us access to so many free exercising videos even if it is a 15-minute exercises. Getting your body into a routine of consistent motion will improve not only your physical health but your mental as well. The only thing that is stopping you from getting on that machine or pressing play on that video is you telling yourself that you can't do it. I love watching GrowWithJo because of the various workouts that she offers and her exuberant personality.

  • Affirmations. If you like to listen, write or read affirmations, this is a great exercise to affirm the person that you want to be and not who you currently are in an anxious or stressed state. Listening to affirmations for at least 21 days consistently will alter how you see yourself as it takes 21 days to form a new habit. If you are anxious about finances listen to affirmation videos on abundance and wealth. If you are anxious about your health, listen to health affirmations. Even love, if that is something you are anxious about there is a video out there for any circumstance. My favorite I am affirmations video is down below

  • Talk about it! It can be very helpful for those with anxiety disorders to talk about their feelings with someone who cares about them and wants to listen—whether it be friends or family members or even just strangers online. Just talking through what’s going on is often enough to reduce anxiety levels because it helps us make sense of our experiences instead of letting them spiral out of control in our minds without any outside input whatsoever! Plus by sharing our concerns with others we empower others too—they might realize they had similar experiences themselves which makes everyone feel less alone,

  • Ensuring that you are receiving a healthy amount of sleep each night is vital because sleep and mental health are closely connected. Sleep is what helps to restore our brain's functions which help to regulate our emotions and physiological health. A lack of sleep can raise the levels of cortisol in our bodies which contributes to anxiety and stress. If you find that you are most anxious at night because anxiety can also affect your dreams I have learned that the altering in our sense of perception then affects what we dream about. Try to get yourself into a consistent sleeping schedule and prioritize that time before you go to bed doing things that bring you peace of mind.

  • MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE! Seriously, it will change your life. You don't need any fancy equipment like expensive meditation apps or classes; all you need is quiet time away from distractions like TVs/phones/etcetera so that you can focus inwardly on whatever thoughts are going through your head right now. I have personally found meditating to be transformative in restoring my mind and releasing stress from the body. When I truly decided to add meditation into my daily routine I listened to Dr. Joe Dispenza and how he made it most simple for me to understand was learning to tame our body to what we want it to do. This video below was true of great help.

  • Invest in Self Care. Self Care looks different for everyone but ultimately self-care is the rituals or acts that one performs to make their inner self feel better. I love to burn a candle, incense, or sage, take a hot shower with a face mask on, and lather myself in my favorite perfume and oils before bed when I am most anxious. I'll slip into my favorite silk pajamas, turn on my air diffuser, journal about whatever comes to mind, express gratitude for getting through the day and affirm to myself that I will have a good night's rest.

Some of My Favorite Items

Vivitest Ceramic Diffuser

Dr. Teal's Sleep Spray

Hem Lavender Incense

The Five-Minute Journal

So there you have it. I hope this helps anyone who’s suffering from anxiety and wants to know how to deal with it. You don’t have to be alone in your fight, and there are so many people out there willing to help you through it. What works for one person may not work for another, but that doesn't mean either way is wrong or right! You just need to find what works best for you. Remember always that if things get too much at any point - whether it's now or later down the road - there are always options available such as seeing a doctor or therapist who can give professional advice on how best to deal with your situation. Please feel free to reach out on any of the BlackBoujeeBeauty platforms for any questions.

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Needing a bit more Self-Care in your life? Download your free copy of the 30-Day Self-Care Challenge and begin transforming your life TODAY!

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